Despite not writing much new material lately, I have been putting some of my finished work out there. And I must say, this writing business is tough for an impatient sort of guy, eh? I would generally rather do something myself than wait for someone else to do it, but you just can't do that in writing unless you go the print-on-demand route. I'd rather not do that, of course. Not at this point, anyway.
So I impatiently wait...and wait, and then wait some more.
I've submitted a few pieces now. I've submitted to horror and mainstream and fantasy and science fiction publications, even tossed some poetry out there. I've gotten quick responses from many of them. But not all. Two of my horror tales are still floating around in some literary equivalent of a black hole, and they've been there for many period cycles, like nine. Nine months! Really? Should that ever happen? But what can I do? I can wait. That's it. Oh, I can withdraw the story, but then I'll have wasted nine months. It wouldn't be so bad, the waiting, if there usually wasn't this cute little rule that states NO SIMULTANEOUS SUBMISSIONS! Big bold letters, all in don't-fuck-with-us caps. Too bad there also seems to be some invisible fine print that adds AND WE WILL HOLD YOUR STORY HOSTAGE FOR UP TO A YEAR OR MORE! BETTER WRITE SOMETHING NEW, SUCKA! I realize there is a lot involved in the business of putting out a publication, but some of these cats need to get a bit more professional when it comes to authors' submissions. I've sent status queries for my stories, and they have fallen on deaf ears or unmanned e-mail inboxes. What gives?
I submitted a story to Sword & Sorceress 24 on May 2, and I got a response from Elisabeth Waters on May 3. I didn't even have time to prepare myself (for rejection)—usually armed with a box of tissues and a Burt Reynolds blow-up doll. She was ninja quick, though, which is awesome. She said, "...the story doesn't quite have the feel I want for Sword & Sorceress." Did she like it otherwise? Did she hate it? Does it suck? Need work? Who knows! But it's mine again, and I can submit it elsewhere.
Should every publication be this fast? Absolutely not. It would be impossible. At Shock Totem, we were nailing 30-day (or less) responses. Then things changed. We got a little burnt out, I think. Couple that with everything we're doing for our launch and some issues in the personal lives of a few staff members and all of a sudden we were pushing 60 days per response, our max. And, unfortunately, we busted that response time on a few of them. But that's still reasonable, especially considering we get about 100 submissions per week. I personally think publications that receive a lot of submissions need to put together a relatively big team of dedicated slush readers and not leave it up to just a few people, unless those few people can respond within an acceptable amount of time. But who am I? If you answered "some no-name turd," then you'd be correct. But I'm right.
I think.
I'm not even sure what I'm ranting about here. (Attempting to coherently blog from work when it's busy is kind of stupid.) To sum it up: my writing is simmering on the back burner, rejections stink (even fast ones), and some publications deserve a round of Tabasco colonics.
Right?
