The one and only Mercedes M. Yardley posted this here Honest Crap thing on her blog the other day. The point is to post 10 honest things about yourself. So why not? They can be entertaining. I mean, who knew Mercedes uses glitter as a seasoning just to make sanitation workers' jobs a bit brighter as they watch her sparkling chocodiles float on by? She's a fascinating humanitarian, that Mercedes.
And now it's my turn. Here are 10 absurdly true facts about me, myself, and my penis.
1. Most find it hard to believe I'm not always high, but I've never tried a single drug outside of alcohol, of which there is no kind I've ever liked.
2. I did two tours in United States Air Force, from 1995 to 2003.
3. I've been to 19 countries*: Austria, Australia, Bahrain, Belgium, France, Germany, Iceland, Italy, Japan, Luxembourg, Netherlands, New Zealand, Saudi Arabia, Slovenia, South Korea, Switzerland, United Arab Emirates, United Kingdom, United States.
4. I quit high school my senior year, immediately got my GED, and was in college before I would have graduated high school.
5. I began driving when I was 14 years old, and didn't get my license until I was 18.
6. I used to think Alaska was an island (see #4).
7. I like the movies Dirty Dancing and Titanic.
8. I've eaten cobra, ostrich, shark, kangaroo, alligator, and horse. Probably dog, too, while stationed in South Korea, but I can't confirm that.
9. Remember the movie Alive, where a plane crashes on a mountain and the survivors end up eating the dead people to survive? It wouldn't have taken me that long to think of eating those fuckers.
"Hey, Ken. Jimmy died last night."
"Hell yeah! Cut him up!
10. My peehole is shaped like an S.
So there's ten things about me. Not very exciting, huh? (I stole the next part from Mercedes.) Now let’s hear ten things about you! I tag YOU! Post the Honest Crap picture on your blog and dish your dirt. Be sure to drop a comment so that I know you’re doing it. I’d love to come and see what you have to say.
* Sadly, gallons of alcohol were had at some of these locations, thus wiping clean nearly all memories. A byproduct of being young and taking things for granted, I guess. I later learned the importance of cameras...
...with neck straps.
7 comments:
6. I used to think Alaska was an island (see #4).
Ha! When the weatherman said there would be snow on the hills, I thought he meant the six foot things in our local playground. Me dumb kid.
I'm so glad that I gave you the opportunity to discuss your poo fetish. I am the BEST FRIEND EVER!!! :P
Cool stuff, Ken. Any of those countries that you'd like to go back and visit?
-Mercedes
I discussed no poo, woman! My poo, anyway.
Sadly, my time in some of those countries is a bit of a blur. I was young, partied a bit too hard, and didn't take photos. I just didn't appreciate that sort of thing at the time; took it all for granted. I pretty much hate that I did that.
Anyway, I'd love to live in Italy. I was there for six months in 1999, and it was beautiful. I lived in a small 15-room hotel above Albergo Ristorante Da Gino, an amazing restaurant. It was right at the base of the Alps. I mean, I could hurl a rock and hit the side of a mountain! It was awesome.
Even amidst all the anti-American protests during the Kosovo War, it was still wonderful. I used to watch the Stealth Fighter take off every evening at dusk (the networking center was on the flight line), and it was a thing of beauty—if you didn't think too much about what it was on its way to do—as it literally whispered down the runway.
Of course, I was there when my ex-wife cheated on me, so that kind of sucked. Haha.
Do we really need to know about your pee-hole? ;) I think I may have to come up with some random shit now.....lemme go thinks!
Yes, you do! What if the cops find me murdered, unidentifiable beyond the penis. So they look to the public for help. And guess what? You go, "Wait a minute...I know that penis!" Now you're a hero!
That has some explaining to do to your boyfriend.
I posted some honest scrap crap on my blog, linking back to yours and Mercedes' posts of course.
And I have to say... I'm with you on number 9. It wouldn't have taken me long to start carving up a rump roast either.
#10
LOL
I'm so going to think of that every time I see your name :)
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